The Gates to Nirvana

I am reluctant to describe about my spiritual experience, which is inexplicable anyway, but the first work of Trans-Art came into existence as a consequence of the awakening process. Thus, I will briefly explain the background to the birth of the Trans-Art.

 

 

First of all, I am very cautious because when I am referring to the awakening process, I do not mean that I have taken some kind of quantum leap of transcendence, or experienced some sort of super natural phenomena of awakening ; No, nothing like that.

 

 

It was just a beginning of the profound change in the state of consciousness that everyone is about to experience in the era of intellectual singularity, which is the beginning of the liberating process from my mind, the Ego.

 

 

My father was the founder of an unconventional religion (HANOL-GYO) which pursues the self-liberation of consciousness instead of the traditional notion of religious belief system. As a first-born child and the lifelong witness of the founder of an unprecedented religion, politician and entrepreneur, the child's ego was always in survival mode: in order to survive the surroundings of prejudice and discrimination from very early in childhood, it was inevitable to develop a peculiar, painful, rigid (only on the surface) and rather fragile (easily wounded inside) Ego mind structure. This is because at that time, I knew nothing other than my mind to resort to protect ‘me and myself’ from what was perceived to be the alienated surroundings of the hostile world.
My childhood can be described as an escape from my reality by all means, and at first, it seemed that I was quite successful:
I was able to study abroad as a reward of winning an art competition.

 

 

However, after the unexpected and sudden passing of my father resulted in a critical crisis, I gave up further studies at Oxford and came back to Korea to take care of my family. I took the leadership of business and religious entities which were on the verge of disintegration. I had to take the financial liabilities and legal responsibilities out of inevitable necessity, without knowing the fundamentals to save and sustain the organizations which were already crumbling. I had to face the panic and adversaries, totally naked, without any knowledge or preparations.

 

 

After continuous emotional and physical sufferings during a period of adversity, despair and frustration, there was a moment when I faced a serious mental breakdown and hence, I was about to reach the point of no return (a decision of self-extinction).

 

 

I was confronted by various adversaries of my father (political, legal, religious, business, employee, union, etc, whomever wanted to take the advantage of the situations) which I will not discuss in detail.
Surprisingly, I was not very scared about the humiliations, the physical confrontations, the abuses and the intimidations on me, even the actual threat to be irreversibly harmed.
However, the most painful thing was my existence being a reason for more suffering and the fact that I could not do anything about it.
Despite my inability to extricate myself from the quagmire, and regardless of my intention to give up at all cost, my existence itself, as a legal descendent, was a burden to all conflicts.
The circumstantial factors put me in a vegetative state, and it seemed that the only purpose of my existence was to be used as a reason for more conflict, more confrontation and more suffering.

 

 

What I had run away all my life from, was exactly what I had to face: the inevitable abyss of fate.

 

 

I saw no way out of this suffering.

 

 

Most of all, I could not bare the intimidations on the safety of my family: I could not take the risk of endangering the only reason for my mere survival.
So I decided to take the only choice which seemed to be inevitable then.

 

 

It was an extraordinary experience.

After I made my final visit to my father's sari (the sacred matter recovered from the remains of the cremation preserved for religious purpose), begging pardon for what I was about to do, I climbed to the mountain behind what is now the Universal Trinity.
I was possessed by the fully-activated dark-Ego then. The vicious circle of the mutual interaction between the overwhelming arousal of self-destructive emotion and the explosively energized thinking process, accelerated insanity to its maximum when I stood up above the huge rock on top of the mountain.

 

 

Strangely, in front of the fatal moment of probable self-extinction, my consciousness was unbelievably calm and crystal clear in that I was perceiving and experiencing the emotional and physical turbulence of myself without any judgment, as if time had stopped: I was crying out loud but my consciousness was experiencing it as an awareness behind the workings of Ego. Inexplicably, although my insane emotion was overwhelmingly activated and my body was shaking, my perception was very still and calm with a sense of positivity deep inside.

 

 

On the one hand, I recognized with absolute clarity, what the insane emotion was trying to do with myself, and I was firmly determined not to permit my mind to do what it was about to do.

 

On the other hand, I intuitively knew that all these sufferings which seemed everlasting, will eventually pass. Moreover, I sensed that everything including the pain and the quagmire, were irreversibly given. I felt that everything was waiting for me, and was ready for me, to accept the inescapable fact that they are given.

 

 

So I accepted what was given with unconditional surrender, as if they were my tailor-made choices.

 

 

From then on, not my Ego-mind, but the calm and intuitively perceiving consciousness (the trans-ego state) took possession of the vector of my life.

 

 

I don't want to exaggerate that experience as a great awakening or something; NO. Because it was not.

 

 

It was just a beginning of the opening: the recognition of the doorway outside of my mind.
It was a glimpse of liberation, simply to perceive myself without being completely possessed by my mind activity: the Trans-Perception.
Although my peculiar Ego mind structure was too rigid to be shut down at once, that experience was irreversible: it was a beginning of the gradual process of awakening in consciousness.

 

 

The ‘Ego mind-structure’ accumulated its synapse through all my life such that it was too firm to be renounced at once and rendered obsolete: my mind tricked me into falling in identification with my Ego-activity time to time to a certain degree, but not completely.

 

 

Yes, the built-in mind structure constructed by the Ego throughout my life was very well-made and solid in its structure that fixing it in accordance with my ‘True-Will’ took a long time.
In fact, I am still fixing my mental synapse (the obsolete map of Karma) every moment, in order to make it compatible with the will of my true nature.
And to be clearer, I have no idea when it will be completed.
But I Do Not Mind.

 

 

However, through that experience, I witnessed what the teachings of HANOL principle refer to as "a glance of enlightening, Gyun-Sung" : just like a flash of lightning reveals the bare structure of magnificent landscape scenery in the darkness for a second, I witnessed, with absolute certainty, the true Entity of I am, and recognized with absolute clarity, the bare structure of my ego and its workings, at a glance, with a flash of enlightening.

 

 

What I experienced - 'Gyun-Sung : a glimpse of enlightening’, and the following ‘determination of unconditional surrender to the suchness of Life’, was a beginning of the liberation: the recognition of the doorway outside of my mind-The Gates, which can be consistently revealed through the Trans-Art.

 

 

	Reinterpretation of la Porte de I'Enfer: Doorway to Heaven, The Completion

For 20 years, Rodin worked on la Porte de I'Enfer (the Hell-gates) and left the world of form in order to enter into the world beyond form.

 

When I first encountered la Porte de I'Enfer, I felt its inexplicable presence in awe.

It took long time for me to re-encounter la Porte de I'Enfer - However, in Seoul this time.

 

I visited the Plato gallery time to time and contemplated on la Porte de I'Enfer.

 

I meditated on it consistently with my eye and soul.

I let la Porte de I'Enfer enter into my consciousness and I let my awareness enter into la Porte de I'Enfer.

I perceived it not merely with my eye and soul but also that of Rodin’s.

Until that silent presence of la Porte de I'Enfer whispered to me with the language of formlessness.

 

What is the thinker contemplating on?

What is the reason Rodin could not complete la Porte de I'Enfer?

What would be there beyond the doorway of Rodin’s la Porte de I'Enfer.

I contemplated on it until my thinking mind turned into the formless silence.

 

The purpose of gate is to enter into destination.

Isn’t the completion of the gate follows by discovering the destination first?

Has Rodin discovered his destination before leaving the world of form and go beyond the form?

 

The Hell is the punishment of God and the worst possible suffering.

 

The gates of Hell symbolizes the beginning of indefinite suffering.

However, from the other side of the gate, it symbolizes the end of suffering.

 

Shamefully, my self have confronted the hell and the death before.

(After the sudden passing of his father, the artist had to sacrifice himself and take insurmountable responsibility which eventually led him to mental breakdown.)

 

The life was hell then.

And I was being punished and suffering indefinitely without comprehensible reason.

I was about to choose the point of no return in order to extricate myself from the inescapable quagmire.

 

However, at the critical moment of self-extinction, I experienced a glimpse of enlightenment.

 

I came to realize that

“There is an immutable state of consciousness and bright substance in me that any suffering, despair or phenomena of life including the hell and even the death cannot distort.”

After that realization, I accepted what was given to me, including the hell and sufferings, with unconditional surrender, as if they were my tailor-made choices.

 

After I unconditionally surrendered to the suchness of life,

by giving up resistance and resentment,

I was presented with peace.

 

Only then, the suchness of Life, the hell-gate to my ego, unmasked its face and became a portal to heaven beyond ego.

By surrendering what made of Ego, I found what was left of me: the true nature.

That was my doorway into Heaven.

 

Could Rodin completed la Porte de I'Enfer if he had more time?

 

One certain thing is that “no matter how great pieces of art or beautiful sculpture he adds to la Porte de I'Enfer, it world have been out of Rodin’s mind.”

 

 

  

 

 

The Gates [The re-interpretation of la Porte de I'Enfer: the completion of portal to Heaven ] is a mirror that reflects my self.

The side of Hell reflects my self (Ego) with deteriorated, scratched and contaminated mirror.

The side of Heaven reflects my SELF (True Nature) with its original clear state, the pure side of mirror.

 

 

  

 

 

It is your choice to stand on which side to reflect your presence.

It also reflects the Free-will given by the grace of God that cannot be taken away from you.

 

Heaven may not reflect place or space.

It may be the reflection of your inner dimension Now.

So is Hell.

 

That’s what I believe.

 

 

 

 

 

Hommage to Auguste Rodin

 

by Sewon Shin

 

 

 

 

* Displayed at the mobile gallery Hermitage in Kangwha, Seoul and Daegu, on rotation.

Exhibition Display @ Handan, Hanol Temple, Kangwha Island

Exhibition Display @ Daegu Temple, Trans-Art Gallery